Today my father is retiring. And I am so happy for him. I feel that today, I will be getting my father back. Till now, he was my father only when he was at home. Beyond that he was a manager, Assistant General Manager, Vice President or whatever posts he has held. From now on he is only ‘My Father’.
So with much enchanting nostalgic feeling, I pronounce…
“AAyiye, Aayiye, Padhariye, Virajiye, Aasan grahan kijiye”
When I was small, the word father meant enjoyment, play and outing. When he left for office, I kept waving my hand till he was out of sight. Even after he was out of sight, I used to climb the wall or tree to get a last glimpse of him. As the day passed, I went to school, came back, I eagerly awaited as the clock stuck past six peeping outside the house door for any creeks on the gate. Many a times it was a disappointment to see neighbours using the gate. But as soon as the gate opened with the stamped sound o clang – dong, I knew it was papa. “Appa!” Girish and myself ran outside. Literally jumping on him and trying to hang on his shoulders. Both – Girish (will be henceforth referred to as Gul) and I kept running around our father like a ritual among the tribals till my mother shouted “let him wash his hands and come.”
The time after my father was back from office was fun time for us for a variety of reasons. Few example bulleted here
• He would play upto our level.
• He would take us out to shops.
• If we wanted anything, he would rarely think twice (though we hardly asked for anything). I remember once or twice when Girish wanted something for his SUPW class, he straight away went and asked my father instead of my mother as he would buy instantaneously while my mom would search for it as home and give him. J
• He made us feel that there was nothing to be afraid of in the world till he was there.
• He gave us freedom to learn so much. He never actually scolded Gul for any of the mischief he did, be it repairing the tape-recorder or the TV. So now we know why he is where he is now.
• He believed in self-learning but was always with us like a guide.
• He rarely showed his temper on us. Maybe my mom has faced the brunt of his wrath, but he all along taught us to look ahead as there was nothing except learning in what had happened.
• We could fool our father easily ;-). When I had to by heart and recall the tables to my mother, it was hard to cheat until I had really learnt the tables. But it was relatively easy to fool my father as he never really held the book high thus giving a comfortable view of the page.
• The list will actually go on and on and on
As we grew up, we understood what our father was working on. It had to do something with fire and metals. I used to feel very proud then that my father deals with fire everyday. As I was being taught about the various occupations in school, I pictured my father as going inside the office with a helmet, sweating out at the fireplace, making metal out of it and then at the end of the day, coming out victorious. His hands and face would be smeared with charcoal, I imagined.
One day I saw the brave side of my father. As usual it was evening time and we were waiting for my father to return. I was playing outside the house when my father zoomed in on his Vijay scooter. Unusually his shirt was loosened and shirt collar dangling over his back. I was surprised to see him like that but he had a huge smile over him on seeing us. Anyway, we let him go in to wash his hands and have a cup of tea. Next thing we knew, mom was nervous and anxious on what happened, how it happened, when it happened, why it happened? There was great hustle – bustle in the house with mom enquiring did you go to the hospital? First aid etc. Only after mom calmed down she told us that a piece of metal from the furnace had fallen on my father’s shoulder and burnt that area. Though this incident was a big thing, what struck me most was that inspite of all that, my father drove the scooter on his own and smiled on us while entering the house. I realized then that I had one of the bravest fathers.
As we grew, he was one of the driving force for me all along. Dinner time was always news time when he explained to us on what was happening and why it was happening and other general knowledge sessions. Everything that we learnt in school was discussed. When grandparents arrived, we were not only told stories of gods, kings and kingdoms but also fed on stories of our great-grandparent, grandparents and parents. I don’t know if my father can really be called tall; but he had grown taller by all the stories. His struggles in life, reasoning, care for others, and intelligence always touched me. The smallest example of his care would be that of the apple he preserved in IIT for his grandpa just because they could not afford to buy but his grandpa liked it a lot. He was the tallest person for me in the world.
One day he came home early and casually asked me, “want to learn the scooter,” “yes,” I replied with enthusiasm. And that was the day I understood what toil was. He showed no pity on me even though my hands ached pulling the heavy Vijay Super scooter. I had to not only pull it uphill but also put and take off the stand on my own. If not for his hardness then, I would not be zooming on the roads as I am doing now. So much so that I am called as one of the best motorist by my officemates :-). he was the hardest person for me in the world.
When I did not do so well in my studies, he did not scold. He probably did not see a reason to scold. “It would only make both of us miserable,” he reasoned later when I asked him. He taught me that anger was only one word short of danger. But what he did then really made me feel bad. He had not only made himself approachable to us but also hinted that I better mend myself. I haven’t still kept upto his level, but feel proud when someone tells me that I have quite some knowledge. He was the coolest person for me in the world.
When my grandparents feel ill and required the best of care. He took care of them like a child, doing everything for them. That day he made me realized, he was the best son in the world.
As the time came for me to focus on my career, he was there right next to me. He never for once decided on my behalf. I was free to choose what I wanted to do. When I choose journalism, there were only three people who were initially in favour of this – My grandma, my father and my uncle. Infact my uncle and grandma were the most excited persons on hearing my decision. When I told my decision to my father, “Sure, go ahead. Do what ever is necessary for that,” was the pat reply. After my father gave the green signal, my mom was the most supportive. That day, he was the biggest support for me in the world.
When computers were a rage and we were pestering our father to buy us one and himself learn about it. He was quick to go to the nearest computer centre. That day, he made me realize, it was never late to learn things. Though he did not join the institute, today he knows better about computers than me. He can talk in all technical terms and jargons floating around. He has made me realize, nothing’s hard in the world to learn. It only requires a willing heart.
When my father went to work out of station, we used to meet him only once in a year. So much so that Gul used to remark “papa is going away for work... Nowadays he comes once a month, later it will be once an year. Then papa will become a stranger!" Still, we kept so much in touch through phone with sometimes hours on it that he made us feel that he was with us ever. He taught us then that physical distances don’t matter in relationships. Ironically now, father is now back to his family while Gul is n US. Still distances don’t matter for us. J
While working, when I had a bad day at work, he was the most approachable person to me. I took my anger on him and reason to him. He would coolly listen and just say “the boss is always right. Just remember this. Even I shout at my people sometimes. But can’t ask sorry later. Its all understood later. Don’t bother about it. Just shrug it off your shoulders.” That day, he was my best friend in the world.
When it was time to get me married, many proposals poured in. While many were rejected for my colour, while others gave false hope, it was my father who made me realize “Welcome to the real world” while I always thought that all this would upset my father, but he was always cool and said, “that’s not the end of the world.” That day, he was the world for me.
The day I got married, I am to sure how much he cried, but he put on a brave face and kept smiling for me. He put full faith on my husband (Bhaskar) and in-laws that I am in good hands. Even when he came back the next day to see me, he smiled and me and said “see we are fine and so are you.” That day, he made me realize how to keep faith on people.
After marriage, when I went to my parents place for my first Diwali and back at my home, my father in law had fallen sick, my father waited no longer and sent me back home immediately where I was needed most. That day, he made me realize what being a family person is.
As I started my journey to motherhood, and came to my parents house for delivery, all I heard from people was that he was the best person ever at the foundry. When I heard of his ideas to solve issues; encourage people to innovate; make friends from foes, I was struck with awe. When I saw a host of people pouring at home to talk to him, discuss and consult him, I am proud of him. That day I realised that he was the best personality in the world.
After holding such high post, when he travels in the sleeper class, he makes me realise what is humility. “I was not born a prince, so why behave like one,” he reasons. When my mother tells about the various charitable things he does (stretching to sometimes nearly Rs 40,000/= per year) I am humbled and guilt ridden. That day I realised he is the humblest person in the world.
And now when I look back at he is, I realize he is the best father in the world. He has a mix everything that is required. Ask what he does not do… from cooking and cleaning; from buying vegetables to stocks, from plumbing to mechanical, he knows it all. He is truly the best person for me in the world. And when I think that he is retiring, I am so happy that now he will be 100% my father, ofcourse not to forget, he will also be 100% grandpa to his favourite ‘nandu kutti’. And that too the best grandpa ever!
