Decluttering my bin: My segregation story

 Everyone likes to live in good houses - Neat, clean, spotless, organised and presentable. I too like such a house and always strove for it. There was however a small corner of the house that was a dump.

While in school, we have studied how manure is made. Even studied the transformation of leaves into humus and then coal and then diamond over time with pressure. That is the beauty of nature! This had incited me to segregate kitchen waste. But I was still not sure how to do it. 

Many of my friends who were segregating were into composting. But that was not my cup of tea. Being a working woman, I was unsure of committing to composting. However, in whatever way possible, I saved the paper and plastics to be given away to the paper mart in the hopes of recycling. Still, I continued to contribute to the landfill. 

Until... I met members of ROKA. Hearing that I had an option to give my segregated waste to the Corporation for composting was like music to my ears. There were absolutely no second thoughts about it and very soon, I started segregation.

Segregation has solved many bin problems for me. 

• The bin area itself was previously a filthy place - stinky and dirty. But now with everything segregated, none of my three bins are stinky or messy. 

• The bin was also like a pazhum kinaru - anything thrown into it was irretrievable. Since the wet waste is segregated from the dry waste, any bills / paper that go into the dry bins is retrievable. 

• My bin does not fill in everyday. While I empty my wet waste every alternate day, my blue and red bins require emptying just once a week. To avoid any confusion, the bins are not emptied on the same day, but in rotation. So even when my maid handled it, there was no mix up.

• The quantity of things that go for recycling is now higher than before.

• I am now a very conscious consumer and go out with multiple cloth bags in hand.

Segregation is not as complex as it looks to be. The most difficult part is just starting it. Once you do it, it becomes a way of life. Now that I have more or less achieved source segregation, my next goal is minimizing consumption and waste. 

Will you folks also join me in this journey?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

 Wonderful were those days when we had a lovely routine… daughter went to school and husband went to office… phew… I would get to see them now only in the evening / night. What a relief!

Once I bid a heartfelt goodbye to the school van, I used to take a 5 mins break to catch up with the world news. And then rush again to send my husband out. And not to forget my maid who is restlessly waiting for me to put all the utensils for her to wash, lest i make her wait for the remaining. 

The real peace is only the time when everyone is out and I am left to myself to do what I want - read without any disturbance, sneak peek into my favourite shows, do yoga peacefully, etc., till i leave for work myself.

In the evening, as I arrive home sweaty, my daughter leaps towards me to give me a huge hug. While I resist and request her to wait till I wash myself, she lets out a big dialogue, “Ma, your sweat is like a diamond for me. I Love you so much! I missed you at school!”

Fast forward now. All of us are at home, so there is no missing. ‘I love you ' still happens, but my sweat is no longer a diamond. A hug after a grueling morning kitchen work leads to, “Ma you smell of sweat!” A rest on the sofa after a backbreaking Yoga routine provokes, “Do you want me to place your towel or switch on the heater in the bathroom for you?”

There was no botheration previously if we used deodorants and perfumes at work, but now at home, they seem to be becoming mandatory just to tolerate each other.

Whatever happened to the diamonds now, I wonder! If only I had saved those sweats, I would have made a diamond set, ready to be gifted at her wedding. But as AR Rahman tweeted to Shekhar Kapoor, “Lost Money comes back, fame comes back, but the wasted prime time of our lives will never come back. Peace! Let's move on. We have greater things to do.”

Boochandi Corona!

As published in Adyar Times August 1 - 7, 2020 Edition

I have been fascinated by the many thematic temples in India. Tamil Nadu specially has temples dedicated to curing illnesses. Our mythology is filled with Gods and Goddesses descending to the Earth to help or cure people. Vaitheeswaran temple near Chidambaram, Garbharakshambika in Thanjavur, and Tayumanavar and Samayapuram at Tiruchirapalli are just a few examples.

Not just in temples, health has been given importance in other religions as well. The Basilica of the Lady of Good Health at Velankanni is a good example. However, for this article alone, I am going to refer to one of the most fascinating Hindu temple - Samayapuram.

It is probably the only temple dedicated to a viral disease - Pox. After a bout of pox, a visit to Samayapuram is a ritual in most Hindu families, irrespective of whether you have ever visited the temple previously or you have prayed to the Goddess during the illness.

Recognising that no cure was available for virus diseases, our ancestors emphasised on cleanliness and distancing, and medicine for symptoms as the only way to wiggle out of the problem. A house that contracts this is adorned with neem leaves and smeared with turmeric paste, cleanliness is the norm, the person is quarantined from others at home, clothes are washed separately, food is prepared separately and people never forgot to pray to God.

All this treatment sounds so familiar to Corona’s, isn’t it? Corona too is a viral disease, yet, we shiver at its name.

Pox in those days was dangerous too. With its cure shrouded in mystery, it was thus named after the Goddess herself - Amme in Tamil and Mata in Hindi. Corona too awaits redemption. A house inflected with pox was left undisturbed and revered, and not shamed or stigmatised as with Corona.

It would be foolish of me to trivialise Corona, but the fear associated with it is absolutely not healthy. This terror has made Corona into what we call in Tamil - boochandi. Just like a child is told, “Go to sleep, else boochandi will catch you,” the public is told, “If you don’t wear mask or maintain social distancing, Corona will catch you!”

The fear has created hesitation in people to go and check themself. Instances of families tearing off pamphlets stuck outside their houses by the Corporation has also come to light. Enquiries reveal stunning statements from even the most educated, “People will be afraid to come to our house,” or “We don’t want people to be afraid of us.”

The public seems to be missing the whole point of why they need to cooperate. Most of the concepts are not new to them. However the right triggers need to be just touched. The onus lies on each one of us, not to crib and complain about the system not working properly, but to explain clearly to others, so we can together be a part of an implementation system.

Let not Corona be the boochandi of your life!

A pep talk with your body

As published in Adyar Times July 25 - 31, 2020 Edition

When the lockdowns began in March, the public hadn’t got used to wearing the mask. Well, neither did I.

One day, in a hurry to stock up groceries, I realised that I had forgotten to wear a mask just as I was entering the supermarket. Since I was anyway at the supermarket’s doorstep, I promised myself not to breathe much or touch anywhere unnecessarily while I quickly picked up the groceries.

Unfortunately for me, my conscious mind was panicking. While in the middle of the shop, my throat felt itchy and i think it ached a bit as well. As I moved to the next aisle of soaps and detergents, though fragrant, my nose felt itchy too. I wanted to so badly sneeze. But Noooo!!! This is such a wrong time and place to sneeze! This was no place to breathe and relax as well, remember I had promised not to breathe much. I grabbed what I could find first and hurried to stand at the serpentine line to the billing counter.

The whole time I kept rubbing my nose and pursed my lips further. As my turn came, I simply nodded my head for queries, paid online and rushed out of the shop. Once outside, I left out a sigh, took a deep breath and made sure to leave the place ASAP.

This was a lesson for me and I never forgot a mask henceforth. But the more important lesson for me was that I forgot to talk to my body not to panic. Anytime when we are in fear, the body reacts in just the way that we don’t want it to. 

Owing to my profession, I had decided to voluntarily take a COVID test, for safety and also encouraged my better half to do so. Within an hour, he asked me to check him. He felt feverish. On taking the temperature, it was 97.3. We cheered him up and went on with our chores. But after another half an hour, he came and said that he is probably feeling an ache in his throat. 

I knew that his body was panicking and so asked him to talk to his body. Funny as it sounds, it actually does wonders. As I prompted, he repeated in disbelief and laughing, “Hey throat, you better not mess with me. I am absolutely alright, so don’t try to fool me and make me feel sick! And hey body, this warning is for you too!” Lo and behold, the feeling of pain vanished in no time.

Talking to the body has worked wonders for me - I have been able to get up early on days when needed, resolve digestive issues or even control food cravings.

In this year of Corona, let not fear overpower you. Anytime you aren’t feeling in the pink of health, try giving yourself a pep talk and see how well your body responds.

Just give a little attention to your body and feel it winking and smiling back at you. Afterall, your body is your best friend!

Wearing a mask is not an option!

As published in Adyar Times July 11 - 17, 2020 Edition

Tamil Nadu government has announced that the state has started to hit a plateau in the spread of Corona cases. And with the lockdown relaxation from July 6, people emerged out of their homes in numbers. Monday was a busy day for everyone. Crowds were seen everywhere - petrol bunks, ATMs and shops.

At banks, the security made sure that customers entered with all precautions and were allowed in, only one by one. However, out in the open, not everyone in the queue followed social distancing. The only thing that forced social distancing at petrol bunks were the vehicles themselves.

At all places, not many wore their masks properly. Some had the only upper ribbon of the mask tied, while the bottom ones were dangling over their chests, some had it covering just their mouths, and worse still, some had it only over their chin.

Reasons can be many: difficulty in breathing, too much sweat, irritation to ears, too tight or too loose, unable to speak clearly. However one must remember: While one might not care for themselves, they have absolutely no right to put others in jeopardy.

I once saw a note behind a vehicle “If I die speeding, know that I was smiling when I died!” And I thought, “Well, I hope you live a hundred years. I don’t care what your last facial expression is. YOU better make sure that I don’t die because of your speeding, cause if I die, darling, that would be the last time you smile in your long life.”

Many seem to have a similar attitude. Unfortunately, we are born in the world with a massive human population. A single misdeed can have a ripple effect. One person not wearing a mask can risk multiple lives.

Any government punitive action must thus be implemented from the perspective of how many people might have been impacted. The more the merrier! More people potentially impacted, higher the fine.

Wearing a mask properly is not an option. It’s a necessity of the times.

The Barber-ic act

As published in Adyar Times May 10 - 16, 2020 Edition

Lockdown brought down the shutters on salons. Many men found this opportunity to become fashionable and flaunt their salt and pepper look, go unshaven and grow ponytails. 

But not my husband! I have never really bothered when he has a haircut earlier, because I never saw any difference. But, one day, he came and said:

Husband: Hey, I need a favour from you.

Me: What?

Husband: I want you to give me a haircut.

Me (bewildered): What?

Husband (with a mellowed voice): Can you give me a haircut?

Me (still bewildered): No!

Husband: But why?

Me: What’s there to cut? Besides, I can't change my profession because of the lockdown!

Husband: Please do it for me. See my hair here has grown so much and it is irritating.

Me: Well, have you seen our hair, how long they are? Grow some more and keep a kudimi.

Husband: Please, I beg you. All wives are doing for their husbands. Even Amma did for Appa.

Me: I have no problem in you getting your haircut from anyone. I don’t know how to cut hair; only know how to cut vegetables.

Husband: You know you will do such a fine job!

A little praise never hurt anyone. At this juncture my daughter interjects and enthusiastically shouts, “Yaay!! Mummy is going to give a haircut to Appa! Amma, let's do it. I will help you.”

Reluctantly I agree and after consulting the panchangams and horoscopes, an auspicious date and time is decided. 

On the D-day,  a room is readied. Newspapers cover the floor, a chair was placed near the dresser mirror, a veshti made up for the cover, and different types of combs and scissors were brought in.

My husband explained to me how the hair had to be cut, “It's simple. Use the comb to measure, jut out the hair and cut the excess.  But be careful, don’t do a crew cut.”

“Yeah, right!” I thought. And so we started chop chop chop. After trying the different scissors and combs, I got so engrossed in the whole process that I was almost turning Pro. “Hold your ears down,” “Tilt your head,” “Don’t talk,” were just some of the instructions I passed.

By the end of it, I was actually sad that it ended. I just couldn’t stop admiring my piece of art. It was fabulous! 

Looking side to side in the mirror, my husband thanked me for doing a good job getting rid of his excesses. But the icing of the cake was when applause came from my inlaws. Still floating in admiration, I asked my husband, “When do you want to have your next haircut?”

When the lockdown was announced, memes circulated on how the women would look without the salons. But look who's having the last laugh!

Choose your battles

As published in Adyar Times July 5 - 11, 2020 Edition

Most of us are working from homes and in many families, both spouses are working from home. With the whole family at home, the onus to prepare breakfast, lunch, tiffin and dinner has fallen on the shoulders of the house chefs - women in most houses.

Time flies anyways.. while you are cooking, you suddenly realise that it’s time for a meeting, and while you are in a meeting, you are prodded by your child with a grumbling stomach. You thus end up requesting your spouse to take care of the scenario while you desperately hope that your meeting ends in 5 mins... but it unfortunately drags on for the next 50 mins.

Credit must be given to the men who pitch in even though they have never been in the kitchen. However it is still a woman’s task to know where to hit the hammer - know what job you can give your better half.

And I learnt this lesson the really hard way! Once the poor chellam- my other half, out of excitement, wanted to make vadais. A spoonful of asafoetida in the dough and a puppy-face staring at the hot oil, forced ME to rectify the dough and finally make it. Another day, he forgot to oil the tava before pouring the first dosa batter.

Result: I was called in to scrap it out. The bond between the dosa and the tava was, however, inseparable, despite my hard scraping. I had to drown the tava in water to separate them.

Lesson: Rather than spending time in correcting, do it the correct way yourself in the first place.

Ask any woman and she would agree that cooking is the easier part; it is the preparation and cleaning which is difficult. It is OK to be selfish sometimes. So keep the best part to yourself - Cook. Delegate what is difficult, to make your life easier, like washing dishes, grinding, sweeping etc. else, you will end up doing all.

Your company is already issuing instructions on your work. Added to that you don’t want to be spending time giving instructions from your desk on what to do in the kitchen. As it is said: Choose your battles. Correct?

What’s in a name?

 As published in Adyar Times June 28 - July 4, 2020 Edition

How many of us have had issues pronouncing some very common names?

Well I have! Especially when it is written like this... Try reading these shop names: B-A-U-C-K-I-Y-A-L-E-T-C-H-U-M-I hardwares, J-A-I-Y-A-L-A-X-M-I provisions, K-I-R-U-T-I-N-A-N stores. The names are actually - Bhagyalakshmi hardwares, Jayalakshmi provisions and Krishnan stores.

My mind is already boggled teaching my daughter, why the spelling of stomach is S-T-O-M-A-C-H and not stomak, TONGUE is not tong / tang, PHYSICS is not fiziks; and when I come out shopping and see these spellings on shop name boards, I feel dizzy. Undoubtedly, numerologists and hard-core Tamil fans were hard at work deciding the spellings. Unfortunately, while the spelling in English can be bent, twisted and tranced, this cannot be done in Tamil or Hindi, or any other Indian language. That’s because Indian languages are phonetic. The spelling of Bhagyalakshmi or Krishnan is universal in Indian languages.

I am reminded of a Team building activity where teams were divided based on the varied spellings of the name - Subramanian: Subramanian, Subramaniyan, Subhramanian, Subramannian. I was shocked!

Though flexible, English is the most unscientific language. I thus don’t understand the need for the Tamil Nadu government to change the spellings of places. The two said languages cannot be equated - an apple painted orange, will not make it an orange. It will only make the apple inedible. 

Many of the English cities have names whose spellings and pronunciation have no relation altogether. Try: Worcestershire, Leicester, Middlesborough, Hunstanton, Magdalen College, Leominster, Godmanchester, and Loughborough. The places are actually pronounced as: Woos-tuh-shur, Lest-uh, Mid-ulls-bru, Hun-ston, Mord-lin College, Lem-ster, Gum-ster, and Luff-bru.

It is said that the British had changed the spellings of the cities to confuse invaders, making it impossible for them to reach settlements. Some may draw parallels with what the British did and what the TN government is attempting to do now during this pandemic.

While I acknowledge the government’s dedication to Tamil and the offence caused by mispronunciation, the new spellings are even more confusing and ill-logical. In an attempt to correct the spellings, let there not be a distortion of the name.....

When speaking to people is a luxury

As published in Adyar Times June 14-20, 2020 Edition

With the lockdown on roads, terraces have become the new social platform. Neighbours catch up with each other with their updates from terraces; apartment mates collect to jog / exercise together; a few discuss culinary tips and recipes; children / toddlers desperate for a breath of fresh air, join too.

Soon, a group is seen sitting for a game of cards. Darkness starts to set in as multiple rounds of cards continues. With lights switched on, winged termites or eesal swarm in. Their numbers can easily disrupt any play. One may fear swallowing it if one opened their mouth. But the game progresses to more rounds unfazed and the chatter and clatter continues to fill the air.

But how?

Because...

Everyone was wearing masks!

The mask was now more than just a means to prevent spreading infection. It was also a means to prevent anything unwanted entering the mouth. Rather, it was also a tool to disrupt any disruption in the freedom of our speech. No termite can force us to shut our mouths.

So friends, keep wearing the mask at all times to retain your freedom!

Curve ball Corona

As published in Adyar Times June 21 - 27, 2020 Edition

For many issues, Adyar Times has carried stories of how the lockdown tore families apart, and impacted many businesses and stolen livelihoods. It has been a depressing sight all around. It didn’t take me long to realise that each family in my apartment of 6 houses had a story tell too, on how they have been affected by the lockdown:

House #1: An uncle of mine, at Trichy, suffered a stroke last week. Though their daughter and extended family / friends are there to help, a feeling of helplessness and guilt takes over when you know that you cannot be around your loved ones in tough times, especially those loved ones who had been with you in your tough times. House #2: In the family of three, a family member suddenly fell ill and had to be rushed to the hospital early one morning. With a child to take care, the family was unsure if they could invite their parents, staying, thankfully, in Chennai itself, to stay with them as help. As the lockdown eased, they were fortunate to be able to take the help of parents.

House #3: The resident has been staying alone for many months now. His wife had been to her hometown in Andhra Pradesh for the delivery of her child. She was supposed to join him back soon after Ugadhi. Ugadhi was over, Tamil New Year was over, May day over and we have reached summer solstice, but she is unable to come back. With no possibility of either his or their travel, the helpless father has no option but to connect with his family through online.

House #4: Here reside an old couple who have learnt to lead a life without a maid. Who said that there wasn’t much to learn after retirement? Life threw them a curved ball too. The routine they followed over years, changed; TV was no longer just cable - it was now Amazon Prime and Netflix; a phone was no longer just for calls or arcade games, but also for engaging in online sloka classes conducted from the other side of the globe and for testing one’s cacophony in karaoke apps.

House #5: The elderly of the family breathed his last early April. A very respected person, it was unfortunate that many did not get to pay their last respects. This apart, the nurse who helped them is patiently waiting for transport to open so she can go back to her family near Chidambaram. Sadly, Chennai is still in the Red category and the light at the end of the tunnel is yet not visible.

House #6: As Coronavirus spread in Hong Kong and schools closed in January, the daughter-in-law of the residents came back home, with her two children. With life limping back in Hong Kong, schools reopening, and the family unable to travel back, the children are missing school and buddies. There is sadness in her eyes as she recalls her hus band staying alone so long. They have for the first time since marriage celebrated each other’s birthday and wedding anniversary being separate, with her baking cakes on the occasions and eating it on his behalf too!

While this is the story of just 1 apartment, it’s hard to imagine the stories in each house of a street, society, city, state and country. Irrespective, this lockdown has been the litmus test for relationships and we wish everyone succeeds.