The Barber-ic act

As published in Adyar Times May 10 - 16, 2020 Edition

Lockdown brought down the shutters on salons. Many men found this opportunity to become fashionable and flaunt their salt and pepper look, go unshaven and grow ponytails. 

But not my husband! I have never really bothered when he has a haircut earlier, because I never saw any difference. But, one day, he came and said:

Husband: Hey, I need a favour from you.

Me: What?

Husband: I want you to give me a haircut.

Me (bewildered): What?

Husband (with a mellowed voice): Can you give me a haircut?

Me (still bewildered): No!

Husband: But why?

Me: What’s there to cut? Besides, I can't change my profession because of the lockdown!

Husband: Please do it for me. See my hair here has grown so much and it is irritating.

Me: Well, have you seen our hair, how long they are? Grow some more and keep a kudimi.

Husband: Please, I beg you. All wives are doing for their husbands. Even Amma did for Appa.

Me: I have no problem in you getting your haircut from anyone. I don’t know how to cut hair; only know how to cut vegetables.

Husband: You know you will do such a fine job!

A little praise never hurt anyone. At this juncture my daughter interjects and enthusiastically shouts, “Yaay!! Mummy is going to give a haircut to Appa! Amma, let's do it. I will help you.”

Reluctantly I agree and after consulting the panchangams and horoscopes, an auspicious date and time is decided. 

On the D-day,  a room is readied. Newspapers cover the floor, a chair was placed near the dresser mirror, a veshti made up for the cover, and different types of combs and scissors were brought in.

My husband explained to me how the hair had to be cut, “It's simple. Use the comb to measure, jut out the hair and cut the excess.  But be careful, don’t do a crew cut.”

“Yeah, right!” I thought. And so we started chop chop chop. After trying the different scissors and combs, I got so engrossed in the whole process that I was almost turning Pro. “Hold your ears down,” “Tilt your head,” “Don’t talk,” were just some of the instructions I passed.

By the end of it, I was actually sad that it ended. I just couldn’t stop admiring my piece of art. It was fabulous! 

Looking side to side in the mirror, my husband thanked me for doing a good job getting rid of his excesses. But the icing of the cake was when applause came from my inlaws. Still floating in admiration, I asked my husband, “When do you want to have your next haircut?”

When the lockdown was announced, memes circulated on how the women would look without the salons. But look who's having the last laugh!